This Is Not Fucking Harmless



I love Kickstarter. I think that’s clear to people who know me by now? I love it. There’s a dude named Brad Muir and he works at Double Fine and I love the games they make, so much. But before Kickstarter, every time a Double Fine game came out I was a little worried it would be their last, and I’d have to worry that if people didn’t buy it, who knows what would happen to that studio. Then they found KIckstarter and now they make games and people like me can front load the development cost for them and it is the absolute best arrangement for creative people who want a tool in the exhausting struggle of art + commerce.  A friend of mine is taking a month off her job to write a children’s book because of this platform. It’s GREAT. I love it. 

The outcome of this is that I spend a lot of time just browsing Kickstarter looking for something cool to either back or crow about online. I don’t really back much - I don’t have a ton of capitol to toss around, and I’m sure the fact that I have a lot of ideas and no money factors into my love of a platform that gives money to people with ideas - but I like to check it out. So tonight, I found THIS fucking thing. 

This is a nightmare. 

Watching the video, reading the description, it sounds fairly innocent but a little eye-roll inducing. It’s another book where some nerd, desperate to be liked by women (this is not an insult, we are ALL desperate to be liked by someone we want to have sex with) thinks he’s figured out some cheat code or check-list like routine they can run in a bar to make women sleep with them, as if women aren’t people but a series of subroutines or an obstacle course that they can optimize to get their dick wet as fast as possible. And he’s written that advice down! And he’s selling it! To you! You could learn his cheat codes. This is nothing new for the internet. In fact, a large swath of this book was published already on Reddit. What’s new is that he’s crowdfunding it. 

And sure, you might think this is sad or dumb or that this guy is just another lonely dude talking to other lonely dudes who’ll head out into the night with their fedoras to failure, right? Not a big deal? Oops, turns out we’re wrong, because here are some excerpts from what he’s already put on Reddit - 

5) Get CLOSE to her, damn it!

To quote Rob Judge, “Personal space is for pussies.” I already told you that the most successful seducers are those who can’t keep their hands off of women. Well you’re not gonna be able to do that if you aren’t in close! ”

All the greatest seducers in history could not keep their hands off of women. They aggressively escalated physically with every woman they were flirting with. They began touching them immediately, kept great body language and eye contact, and were shameless in their physicality. Even when a girl rejects your advances, she KNOWS that you desire her. That’s hot. It arouses her physically and psychologically.”


Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.”


Pull out your cock and put her hand on it. Remember, she is letting you do this because you have established yourself as a LEADER. Don’t ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your dick.”

 - Source

SO. Now I am no longer rolling my eyes.

This guy is no longer just being weird and creepy on the internet. Now he’s writing a book about how to sexually assault women, and he is using something I believe in (Kickstarter) to ask YOU for money to do it. I am offended as someone who believes in the platform, and more importantly I am offended as someone who believes women shouldn’t be treated this way, and that people who say otherwise CERTAINLY should not profit off saying they should. 

This isn’t harmless. People come to these boards because they are scared of being humiliated, and they are saying to the world, “Tell me what to do, because I don’t know what to do.” And this guy has chosen to tell them, “You should be a rapist.” 

There’s largely nothing we can do about people saying this shit on a place like Reddit - Reddit’s a mess for another time - but let’s get it off of Kickstarter. The project is funded in 10 hours - and unfortunately a lot of those are sleeping hours - but PLEASE report it to Kickstarter, please tweet @Kickstarter asking them to take it down, and PLEASE do not let something cool be used for the UGLIEST thing imaginable.

The Kickstarter - Report Button is on the bottom of the page

Please Tweet at @Kickstarter 







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There seems to be some sort of fucked up public opinion that we should pity these boys because, hey, we all do dumb stuff when we’re young. Because it could have been our sons. And to that I say, bullshit.

We need to stop letting it be our sons.

We need to teach our sons that no means no. And that silence means no. And that drunkenness means no. And that being passed out means no. And that “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” or “maybe we shouldn’t do this” means no.

We need to teach our sons that women and girls are actual people. They’re not just bodies. They’re not just holes. They’re not inanimate objects to be used at will.

We need to teach our sons that degrading women isn’t funny in any context.

We need to teach our sons that watching something happen and not intervening is every bit as bad as participating.

We need to teach our sons what it means to be men.

I don’t have any daughters. I am not tasked with teaching them how to try not to get raped. But this isn’t a problem with our daughters. We shouldn’t have to teach them how to stop rape.

We need to teach our sons.


“Those poor boys’ lives will be ruined because of this.”


“But the girl was wearing—”


“She was drinking alcoho—”


“They won’t be able to play football anymore!”


“The boys’ futures are ruined because of her!”


“She should be held accountable, too!”


“What did she think was going to happen!?”


(Source: hellamyblake, via iamlittlei)

TRIGGER WARNING: Rape. Not only do Pennsylvania lawmakers want to make it harder for poor women who become pregnant from rape or incest to get an abortion, now they're making it harder for these women to seek food stamps if they continue with their pregnancy. Being raped while poor in Pennsylvania: punishable by law.


There’s so much rage I have about this proposed bill that it’s difficult for me to put it into words so let me leave this here until steam stops pouring out of my ears.

State Representatives RoseMarie Swanger (R), Tom Caltagirone (D), Mark Gillen (R), Keith Gillespie (R), Adam Harris (R), and Mike Tobash (R): GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STATE.


A brief list of the people who benefit from narrowing the definition of rape


  1. Rapists

(Source: unforgettabledetritus)

I really like what Jessica [Valenti] said earlier where, she paraphrased it differently, but essentially, comedy is a subversive art. We probably became comedians because we were picked on, we were nerds. And you use it as this defense mechanism to take down the bully, to take down the bigger guy. And suddenly the bullies are invading our nerdspace and they’re using our tool instead of doing what they usually do which is being creepy towards women and better looking than us. […] because here’s the thing, when you’re talking about rape—again, rape culture—that is edgy and smart. George Carlin and what Wanda [Sykes] did. But to me, it’s like who’s sitting in an audience being like, “You know who’s had it too good for too long? Rape victims. I really wish someone would get on stage and give them a piece of it!” Like, no one wants to see that!

Why aren’t we going after the guys doing the raping? Why aren’t we going after the government with their sexist policies with their rape enabling culture? Or the police who just ignore rape case after rape case after rape case? There are so many big targets to go after.
The response was something that was over-the-top. The boundaries that were around him, that were in his mind that, “This, I can say this and it’s okay.” And the culture decided to jump around and protect that. And I believe that’s the biggest, biggest thing here. Is that people that weren’t comics were running at me going, “How could you not defend him? He said—what, you’re a comic. Comics uh, uh, just say stuff.” And I was like, “I say stuff but I also don’t want to be a douche.” I have that weird line to stand where I’m like, “Hey, you know what I’m not going to do? Be a douche right now.”
I just feel like you go for what you are going to say. Go for it 110%. But the second it passes your lips, it’s everybody else’s to judge. And if you’re going to be weak and back down and apologize, I’m not going to defend you because why did you say it? That’s what I don’t get.

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What’s so sad about that is that with Michael Richards, you have another guy who wasn’t funny and comics disowned him. I mean remember how Letterman had to sadly trek Jerry Seinfeld out and he was like, “I’m sorry I knew him,” and it was horrible. And with this what shocked me the most […] is that every comic, all these guy comics—liberal comics, progressive comics—came out and defended this guy and defended rape culture. And what’s so sad about that is comics don’t agree on anything! Everyone’s talking about the “comedy community”? Here’s the “comedy community”:

“Are you friends with Elon?”
“Well Elon just got a special.”
“I hate Elon.”

[…] We don’t even have health insurance! But suddenly we have to defend rape culture? And it’s like, “Comedians assemble!” It’s horrifying that this is the sword we want to die on.

Not only does abstinence-only education completely erase and forget about people who become pregnant as a result of rape, but they don’t even shed any light on sexual assault as a thing that exists in the real world, or something that can possibly be assuaged by clear, concise, and assertive sexual communication. Essentially, they are helping to create a culture of sexual ignorance – something that is a huge contributor to rape culture. If a person is never taught about sex, consent, and communication beyond “no” or “yes”, they are more likely to commit sexual assault.

we're screw-ups. I'm a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s.

25-year-old east coast women's college graduate with a laptop and no original thoughts.

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spending all day every day watching movies and television.